So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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