um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
