She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
