I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
