Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
