I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
