Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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