i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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