Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All I want is dick and wine.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
