Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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