She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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