She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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