Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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