ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
