He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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