True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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