I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
