I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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