a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
