You really coming over, don't trick.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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