why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
