get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
