We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Life without a bra equals bliss.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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