yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
