She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
