sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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