So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize