one two three fourrrrnication!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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