Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
