Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
