That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he thought i was a dude.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
