i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
