perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
