I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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