well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
