I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
