Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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