I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
