We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize