Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
