dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
