dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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