I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize