No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
