Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
