is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
