Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
