At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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