If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
