I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
