This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
