You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
