I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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