I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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