Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
