So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
