Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
